Wednesday, October 6, 2010

October is...

October is the most powerful month of the year for me... (trying not to get choked up as I type this) October is my birth month....October is the month my babies were born...October is Breast Cancer Awareness month...Every time I see that pink ribbon that represents breast cancer and breast cancer survivors I am reminded that breast cancer is real...That pink ribbon symbolizes so much more to me now, its no longer just a cute little pink ribbon...its a reminder of how close I came to loosing my best friend, Vee.
Vee, my cousin/BFF/spiritual counselor, biggest cheerleader and supporter/my friend. She is a SURVIVOR!! BREAST CANCER FREE!!!!

Me giving Vee a kiss, this pic was taken in 1977/1978

Me and Vee at the Maxwell/Jill Scott concert (Summer 2010)

Having a good time, as usual.


Vee rocking her fro!! We are going natural together!

My sister, Me, my cousin Mary (Vee's sister) and Vee Vee in Dallas Texas..


One Fall evening while sitting in the audience of my then 10 year olds recital, I received a call. It was from my bestie, Vee...I wasn't alarmed because we talk daily, if not every day every other day. So I quietly exited the auditorium and stepped outside to take the phone call. Like any other day I see that its Vee calling and I answered the phone, "Sup, chick"... I proceed to goof off as usual... I'm always clowning when we talk on the phone until I notice that Vee is whispering. Her voice sounded weak and faint, I could barely hear her....I could tell she had been crying.

REWIND::::A few weeks prior she mentioned that she was getting a series of tests done before her insurance lapsed. She was starting a new job and wanted to get as many visits as her insurance would allow because she would be w/o insurance for a few months. I joked around when she said she was getting checked for breast cancer. I said something like, "Girl you ain't playing, breast cancer tests???? WHY??" She found a lump in her breast but I dismissed it quickly and reassured myself that it was would go away. Vee is young and healthy, no way could it be breast cancer...

FAST FORWARD::: Standing outside of my daughter's school my best friend told me that the test results were indeed positive, it was confirmed that she had breast cancer. Not only did she have breast cancer she had the most aggressive type and the cancer progressed to stage 3.. At that moment I think I stopped breathing. I had to lean on a tree to keep from fainting because my knees seemed like they wanted to give out. I just kept saying, No, No, NO....that can't be At this point we were both weeping, not uttering a single word. I have no idea how long we continued to hold the phone...she said, "Go back inside so you won't miss baby girls performance." (its her style to think of others first)

I joined my husband and younger daughter in the auditorium and continued to cry like a baby. Of course my husband was concerned so I texted him throughout the recital so he would know what was going on. He was trying to hold it together because he was crushed also because Vee is very dear to both of us. People were looking at me but I didn't care, its was no way to hide the fact that we were hurting. After the performance my daughters' principal comes over to rub my back and said, "I used to get emotional at my children's performance also when they were little." I forced a smile and nodded. Too distraught to even speak.

So we get home and I call answer...I let her be. I knew at that moment that she was somewhere hurting and it was absolutely nothing I could do about it, NOTHING.

Over the next few months Vee would have surgery and procedure after procedure...followed by chemo and radiation...followed by more surgery. She had every test in the book. Up until this point I had always protected my cousin/BFF...our mothers are sisters..we are 5 months apart so we have always been close. I was always running to the rescue to fight anybody and anything who tried to hurt her. This time in her life she had to be brave and fight this battle alone. She had her family and friends to pray and support her but this was Vee's fight..a fight for her life. She fought so gracefully...She continued to pray through the pain and heartache. Watching her hair and eyelashes fall out from chemo broke my heart.... She was the one going through and yet she was consoling me.
A little history on Vee, I have never seen/met or heard of anyone more genuine. I have never seen her talk negatively about anyone, never hurt a soul. It was me who was the hot head, it was me who would take off my earrings in a heartbeat to break somebody off...not Vee. I had to lean on God for understanding. In my little mind, she didn't deserve this pain and misery. God had a bigger plan, he saw the bigger picture. He was molding Vee into this mighty woman of Christ that she already was/is...but now she is FEARLESS!! She put on her lacefront wigs and jazzy outfits and kept it moving. She didn't just sit on the couch and wallow in her pain...she continued to go to work and praying all day and night like our Grandmother whom she is named after.
Today as I type this she is CANCER FREE, Praise God!! The battle isn't quite over because she has to recover from all the side effects of radiation but we serve a mighty God, by HIS stripes she is already healed. COMPLETELY.
Once upon a time I considered myself to be the strong one but I stand corrected. Its not always the most aggressive and loudest one who possesses the most strength...its the one who perseveres through the storm...she is not bitter, she is not broken...she is a survivor and I admire her even more. It is with great pleasure that I introduce you to my bestie, Vee Vee! I love you girl!! See you at the top!!
A poem I wrote for her::
gum poppin
earrings floppin
jeans croppin
donk droppin
no stoppin
saturday mornin
kinfolk stormin
hoola hoopin
front porch stoopin
vacation bible schoolin
kid sis foolin
over crush
quiet type
of me
Grandmas' namesake
i remember
so live
long drive
red dirt
mini skirt
shiny shirt
nail paintin
no end
much love,
'Cornflake'© 2009 (Michelle Williams)
Ladies, I beg of you to do your monthly breast exams...Breast cancer is real and it affects young black women also. I was ignorant to think it was only a mid aged white woman illness...No one is exempt from this disease, men even suffer from breast cancer. Take charge of your health...for info on reproductive health visit


Solomon said...

That was a very inspiring story!

Wishing you, your sister, and your entire family well!

VioletPoetry said...

Thank you so much, Solomon!! :)